Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I've been dealing with the approaching anniversary of becoming a Rape Survivor.
I also have been posting a lot of my thoughts on a protected forum for survivors, AfterSilence.org.
I went back into Therapy this Monday, and it's been a very good thing I think. I will know more once I've had some more regular sessions but we'll see.
The main problem that I have been dealing with this week is the fact that I sort of carried my rape as a banner to ignore any other abuses that happened to me. The therapist I am seeing is wonderful and even in our first screening sessions she was able to help me accept something I was fighting.
She made me take a long hard look at one of the longest relationships of my life and accept a few things I had built up a strong barrier of lies around. It's been tough but I also know I have to accept it and close that door or I won't be able to heal and be stable enough to help others heal.
So I'm on a journey again, another piece of healing myself. And it will begin when I can actually accept the words that define it. It's still hard but every time I write about it I feel closer to accepting it.
AS has been a major help, and I'm so glad I found it.
Light and Love
A Poem (or an attempt at one)
In fire love can be forged
Passion can feel like the sun
And the innocent can burn without notice.
In shadows creep the evils unmentioned,
Supported by lies and denials
Fished up by the mind when least expected.
In Light I will find healing,
Love can become a balance,
And all will be okay again.
I also have been posting a lot of my thoughts on a protected forum for survivors, AfterSilence.org.
I went back into Therapy this Monday, and it's been a very good thing I think. I will know more once I've had some more regular sessions but we'll see.
The main problem that I have been dealing with this week is the fact that I sort of carried my rape as a banner to ignore any other abuses that happened to me. The therapist I am seeing is wonderful and even in our first screening sessions she was able to help me accept something I was fighting.
She made me take a long hard look at one of the longest relationships of my life and accept a few things I had built up a strong barrier of lies around. It's been tough but I also know I have to accept it and close that door or I won't be able to heal and be stable enough to help others heal.
So I'm on a journey again, another piece of healing myself. And it will begin when I can actually accept the words that define it. It's still hard but every time I write about it I feel closer to accepting it.
AS has been a major help, and I'm so glad I found it.
Light and Love
A Poem (or an attempt at one)
In fire love can be forged
Passion can feel like the sun
And the innocent can burn without notice.
In shadows creep the evils unmentioned,
Supported by lies and denials
Fished up by the mind when least expected.
In Light I will find healing,
Love can become a balance,
And all will be okay again.
